6 days...

Its been 6 days already and we haven done anything together... its like we used to meet up at least 2-3 days the most but this time round... its so different. it just feels like we are having a distance and its getting further. Tho she will still call me when she is smoking.. in the car.. but now it just feels like its just for the company to have someone there to accompany throughout the journey. I duno wat else is she trying to test me. After thinking sometime... if u really have feelings for someone or love someone.. u shld just love the way he is right? u shld accept his flaw. changing someone into someone u prefer wont be true anymore...

She is just like my dreamgirl.. the kind of girl that i dont think i will ever meet. we have so much in common. Its so easy.. everything is easy... now she doesnt bother much. i guess.. she is just tired of trying to make me feel better. im emo i admit, but its not easy cos i really wanna feel loved for once since young. i know my parents and brother love me.. but the love i want.. someone closer to me. so near yet so far... this has been in my mind since... no effort is being made anymore.. everything is so different... i really have tots of giving up.. but im afaird i wont find someone like her again... i really dont know what to do... its irritating. What is really wrong? i asked but she say she is just busy.

im scared... really scared. sigh...